I'm no good at being a robot. Teach me!

This heart of mine is such a curse! It feels each & every bump on this road of life. As soon as it's over one bump it's yearning for the next one. Each jolt brings a feeling of euphoria bigger than the last and taking me to another high to live on a few more days. The sad part about this heart of mine is that it tends to experience blowouts. It takes the blows hard and struggles to recover. The air seeps out slowly but painfully forcing me to see over top the rose-colored glasses that I love to wear. So what am I supposed to do? Do I challenge myself to go after the high knowing that I'll be scraping myself from the asphalt of the low? Am I really living if I'm in constant fear of crashing? My friend said that she prays to never get too high off the ground because she never wants to experience the lows of life. I can't fix my lips to utter a prayer like that for I'd being telling God that I want the easy way out. How can I be apart of the greatest story ever written if I can't feel the best and worst of it? How can I know how resilient and wonderfully crafted I am if I never get to know what it's like to pick up the pieces? From brokenness blooms greatness and in a painstaking way I want to feel every jagged edge. I'm not good at this disconnect! If you've figured it out, teach me but please show me the on/off switch so I'll know how to stop when I've flat-lined too long!

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