Living as the New Eve

Lately, I have been in the strangest place spiritually. The pull on me to be dynamic, bold & virtuous has felt like too much to bear at some times. None of the education I’ve received ever covered how to dream big, live up to those dreams but still be rooted. There have been days where I felt a big, gaping hole in me and knew all that would fill that space would be the manifestation of my greatest dreams. Realistically, I had to ask myself a few questions: How do you even start to fill that space when the dreams are so unnervingly large? Should you even try? Is it a mission that is sure to end with death before success? And the tummy swirls begin…

Shocking confession: Sometimes it scares me to close my eyes! Something happens when I give my mind time away from the present and it scares me sh*tless sometimes. The images are so vivid that they mimic a motion picture! Often times, afternoon naps are more tiring to wake up from because I’ve spent them in this endless world of possibility. Some are so amazing that I have to document them so I grab the first thing I can get my hands on to record this macrocosm of images and…NOTHING! I can’t get them onto paper! How am I going to map out this plan to get there if I can’t even get it written down? (This will definitely have to be tackled in another post!)

So the adventure begins with me as a modern-day Eve in a modern day Garden of Eden! Good news is that I’ve already eaten the apple. Bad news is that I’ve already eaten the apple! {insert profanity & head-banging} I can’t spend the rest of my life at that crossroad so I’m pushing forward (with my bag of potential). First things first, no one looking for a cameo is invited on this journey. If you don't want to be in for the long haul, don’t step up to the ticket counter because you will not be admitted on this train. Secondly, I am armed & dangerous! Really but not really…I’m definitely outfitting myself with “the belt of truth”, “breastplate of righteousness”, and “the shield of faith”. I guess that only makes me dangerous to those that seek to hinder me. (Yikes, did I just serve someone notice? If so, spare us both & just walk in the other direction!) Lastly, I must make the choices that lead me to a life of fulfillment not regret. Compromise on this is not an option! The challenge of my choice still scares me but I can’t afford to back away now. *closes eyes*

Photo: Magda by Brianna McCarthy via Passion.Fruit

Please stop my Brianna's blog & check out her awesome paintings & sketches. I'm constantly in a state of ah when I see the beautiful & powerful pieces that she creates.