Let's call this a comeback!

My little section of the interwebz has been abandoned for quite some time now. It's not that I don't love my space here but it had to take a temporary backseat to some things that I needed to get off my plate. Then it fell victim to writer's block, winter blues & outright laziness. I have plenty of things in queue but never published them for whatever reason. Lately I have been focusing on learning how to dream again. Seems weird but, at some point, I completely blocked out the part of me that dares to believe beyond the current reality before my eyes. I joined a month long challenge to see if I could break away from this. My experience during this program has been very positive; though very direct and jarring at times. Nonetheless, I'm glad that I decided to participate. This morning's exercise was cool and I wanted to share. Initially, I cringed because I was pretty sure there was no way that I could finish it. The thought of coming up with 100 things that make me happy seemed crazy. I didn't think I could possibly list 100 different things; period. I did! (Actually my list was more than 100 things but I cut it off) Here it* is:

1. hugs
2. kisses
3. spending quality time with friends & family
4. conquering a fear
5. reading
6. cooking
7. dancing
8. sushi
9. motivating others
10. dessert
11. volunteering
12. seeing others happy
13. traveling
14. writing
15. flowers (especially HUGE sunflowers)
16. watching the sun rise
17. talking to my friends
18. receiving encouraging words from others
19. praying for others
20. making others smile
21. completing an assignment
22. looking at old pictures
23. thinking about times with Fix-it Freddy (my grandfather)
24. receiving a compliment
25. finding vintage jewelry
26. the smell of lavender
27. a huge mug of tea
28. hearing someone say that they love me
29. painting my nails
30. wearing my hair obnoxiously big
31. sitting in a coffee shop wasting time
32. standing on a rooftop overlooking the river
33. going to the movies
34. going to the park
35. reading poetry
36. reading the Bible
37. listening to Al Green songs
38. going to concerts
39. black & white movies
40. leopard print pumps
41. peaches
42. kiwis
43. Gilmore Girl re-runs
44. vanilla milkshakes
45. sitting on the beach reading magazines
46. Denver, CO
47. Dallas, TX
48. SWEET TEA!!!!
49. omelets
50. all thinks Italian (especially Italian men)
51. dreaming of moving to Paris
52. greasy cheese fries
53. exercising
54. going for long walks
55. butterflies
56. turtles <~~~~ random!!!
57. browsing libraries, bookstores & art galleries
58. the smell of a new car
59. sugar cookies
60. craft festivals
61. cupcakes
62. Heath cookies from McAlisters (& sweet tea)
63. cheesecake
64. coffee (with a lot of cream)
65. handmade jewelry
66. massages
67. dates (with a lot of laughter & genuine conversation)
68. holding hands
69. Empire Records, Grease & A Bronx Tale (movies)
70. listening to my elders talk
71. scary movies
72. making hair products & accessories
73. reading fashion magazines
74. playing with makeup
75. flying alone
76. knowing that someone is thinking of me
77. "I miss you" texts and phone calls
78. leaving handwritten notes
79. lace panties <~~~such a girly thing!
80. soft leather purses
81. my crazy furrballs Ava & Avery
82. quiet time alone
83. God's revelations to me
84. supporting a good cause
85. farmers' markets
86. big sunglasses
87. any song by Lauryn Hill, Erykah Badu or Chaka Khan
88. restful sleep <~~~~ a rarity for me
89. red wine
90. "Good Morning" texts and phone calls
91. Anything blue, purple, yellow or green
92. cozy sweatshirts and sweaters
93. high heels
94. holding hands
95. notebooks
96. tattoos
97. jeans worn with cotton t-shirts
98. tall men with great smiles
99. unique jewelry
100. Washington, D.C.

Bonus! Dancing around to this song always puts me in good mood!

Happy New Year!

*The items on my list are in no particular order. I just jotted them down as they came to mind. They are numbered so that I could easily keep track of what number I was on.

Imperfectly Quotable

"You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking."

Marianna Williamson

Forgive my disbelief!

Sometimes I can't believe:

• what an awesome set of friends that I have
• just how wrong I was about life as a teen
• the awesome endless possibilities this world holds
• how much love I am capable of expending despite all the hurt I've experienced
• what a cruel world I live in
• the kindred souls I've met despite us being so many miles away
• how much I have grown in the last 5 years
• how paralyzing some of my most irrational fears are to me
• my brain hasn't exploded from all the dorky & useless info I cram into it
• how much I love sushi
• I survived my teen years without crumbling to ashes
• I have these 2 piercings and want more
• how massive my hair is
• I'm not out of these damn braces yet
• people actually care what I have to say
• I'm madly in love with someone & there's absolutely nothing that I can do about it
• God chooses repeatedly to use me bring life back to others
• that person in the mirror is me

Disbelief is the most counterproductive cognitive function! The only way to cure it is simply to do the opposite and just believe. Each day is a process that I'm willing to give my all to because I know the end result will be worth the effort.

Tumbling 'Round

Tumblr is one of my guilty pleasures & I've been going insane since it crashed the other day. Man, I wish everyone had a Tumblr! You can really learn a lot about someone from what post. I love it a million times more than the traditional blog because there are no words to sort through or explanations to trip over! Here are just a few of my fav Tumblr gems:

Happy Hump Day! ♥

Stumbling onto the right answers...

I had a little bit of downtime on my vacation last week & had an opportunity to reflect on lessons that I've learned (& re-learned) this year. I don't think the blogosphere has enough space for me to go into details on how & why. Besides, I think the lessons are far more valuable than the stories at this point. Though the process of learning is not always easy or the most comfortable position to be in, I find myself humbled and grateful to undergo such a thing. I always hope that I'm making the best decisions & honestly, I never really know until I'm crossing the threshold into the consequences. If I had to grade myself on mastering this life thing, I'd say I'm passing. The challenge is just getting from good to great! Enjoy!

• Pick up my feet! (Directed at my clumsy inner 13 year old self!)
• "Why?" is never a dumb question when my happiness/destiny is involved.
• Get carried away in what I love!
• It's not my problem when someone can't see how awesome I am! (*not trying to be conceited)
  
• Don't suppress my inner pioneer!
• Fear is a wasteful emotion.
• If hearing "no" is the worst case scenario, I'm in a good place.
  
• When I love from the right place, I'm energized.
• Inspiration is omnipresent if I just change my perspective.
  
• Keep believing in a fairy tale ending until it happens. It will!
• Those that want me in their lives will make it known & make room.
• Some things are worth just doing & apologizing afterwards.
• Stop apologizing so much!
• Great thinkers must eventually move on to be great doers.
• My grandparents & parents did what they could to open doors. I can't be afraid to kick in the ones still closed!
• Buying planes tickets to travel thousands of miles away, without a clear game plan, isn't really that scary.
• Don't be afraid to walk away, especially when no good is possible.
• It's okay to keep a mystery about me to preserve what I treasure most.
  
• Not only does my opinion matter but it's also relevant.
• Don't be afraid to offer silence as an answer when action will speak louder.
  
• I'm enough!

Hope you had a great Thanksgiving!

On Repeat...

Since my new-old position kicked off, my schedule has been a bit erratic. It all happened at the time of some major rollouts so I've been spending longer days at work. Music has been keeping me sane! Here's a bit of what I've been looping non-stop:

So Beautiful - Musiq Soulchild

Slow Dance - Keri Hilson

Come Close - Common & Mary J. Blidge

More Than Love - Amerie & Fabolous

Break You Off - The Roots & Musiq Soulchild

This is not an emergency...IT'S LIFE!

Heart for Art's Girlfriends painted by me

James 1:2-5

2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.5 If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.6 But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.7 That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double‑minded man, unstable in all he does.

I have to admit this week was one of the hardest that I've had to face in quite a while. It was comically summed up in a joking game of I never on Friday when my friend yelled out "I never lost my job then got it back in the same week!" She looked at me & I chugged wine while everyone gasped in shock. I just winked back! I can look back & laugh at the circumstances but I was on edge all week. I'm blessed to have an awesome group of friends that keep me sane when I'm more than sure the world is crumbling around me. Once I got my bearings, I had to seek counsel from the Big Guy Upstairs on how to maneuver this crazy storm. From there, things just seemed to click on the reality of it all. I did all that I could to the best of my ability & prepared myself to be okay with whatever the outcome. I reminded myself that while I always think my plan is ideal, God's will is always perfect! Regardless of the final decision, I could see the opportunities in it all. I am humbled & grateful that when people see me, they really see the God in me for I'm just a vessel of his grace and blessings!